Justin Timberlake

My buddy, Justin. Needs a cool nickname like “J-Lake” or maybe “Cool-Timber” or “Cool-T” — how about “Ice-T” … Ice T has a nice ring! I’m going to try that next time I talk about my pal Justin. Awesome to show America I have cool celebrity friends that trust me and that I can call by great nicknames. Ice-T awesome. Wonder why no one came up with that before? Really good.

Really want to come up with some hip songs or quotes that make me sound a little cooler for the Bernie fans. I know some good classics like “Give Peace a Chance” or “What’s so funny about Peace, Love and Understanding?” Bernie fans are basically the new hippies I think. Kind of naive, smoke marijuana and little smelly. The songs about peace from any era will be a big hit.

Basically, I just want to make sure and show everyone I can fit in everywhere with everyone. I do a pretty good “black” accent. I say aks instead of ask when I talk to Al Sharpton and get a little twang when I’m in the South. When I’m in front of the big banks paying me millions, I offer them the world. Then, I go to the public and pretend the banks are evil. I can do it all and be all to all people. Getting good at it. For TPP, against it. War and military strength yes (or no) depending on the audience. I sell myself as multilingual – I’m not stupid, I know that means I can speak many languages and I cannot – but I can speak negro, white, rich, poor, trailer park, beaner, Jew, board room, celebrity – anything. I have a doctorate in bullshit – probably the better way to say it, but that really doesn’t sound as good. Still staying away from the media.

Note to self: who the crap is Gary Johnson!?!

More later…

 

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