Michelle. I would beg her to run with me. Not that begging helped me get Barack’s endorsement. He waited until he had no other choice. I doubt begging would help with her either. Michelle is a nice name. Michelle, my bell. My Michelle. Or is it Belle? Michelle, my belle? Biden Belle. Nice ring to it.
How could Michelle turn down first female VP or first female President once I step aside? She could be 12 more years in the White House.
It sucks being hunkered up in the basement while Trump spends hours a day on TV. I wrote a post-it with Corona Virus on it so I could remember why Major and I are stuck in the basement. Major would be a super cool White House dog. Trump doesn’t even have a dog.
Who am I kidding.? The Vice President job sucks. I would know. If I can’t beg her to run with me, maybe she will eventually find time to endorse me? Maybe she’s busy with traveling and book signings and stuff. Busy times. I’m stuck in the basement, but she’s probably still really busy so can’t find time to come out and endorse me. That makes sense.
Jill says I screwed the pooch, (which I definitely did not, I’m not even attracted to Major) by promising to take a woman VP. The drop from Michelle to the next woman running mate is massive. Like Whitmer. Imagine her nickname – witless. Trump calls her half Whitmer and the natives are restless in Michigan after she made some pretty weird demands. Really unpopular now. Then we have Pocahontas – she couldn’t even win her own state. Or Abrams – ditto. Pot-smoking Kamala? She has a weird laugh. Her teeth look like candy.
Where’s major?
Have to go do some more begging…. I have to beg my campaign staff to see if they’ll let me do some interviews or another Town Hall. It’s killing me just sitting here. How long have I been in the basement?! Too fucking long. They just say “America knows Joe” and “laying low could help me win” – not sure what that means? Too much of a good thing? Or, the less America sees me, the better they like me? Seems backward. But, they must know best.
But, I need to get out of the basement.
Come on, man.