My team isn’t full of people who love me and tell me everything I do is great. They tell me what to do and what to say. Then, they generally pick me apart after each event. They are full of “constructive criticism” which sometimes comes off to me as just criticism, and kinda mean, too.
But they loved me at the debate. Everything I said was great. Big kudos, folks. Couldn’t have been more proud.
Ok, sure, the bar was pretty low. But they really loved the spectacle. Me, calling Trump a “clown” and telling him to stop his yapping. Didn’t come off at all like crazy Uncle Joe.
Also they love how I answered this question:
“Vice President Biden, would you pack the court?”
I took the 5th.
“I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may incriminate me.”
Exactly as I was told to do.
Why does the American public need to know my plans? They just don’t need to know. It’s not as if they are voting for me because they believe I have great plans. Or that I can accomplish anything positive for the USA. I have not in 180 years of my political career. But, the Big Orange Bad Godzilla man in the White House is bad. That’s why they are voting for me. The public is too dumb to understand. And they certainly don’t need to know.
And the results: CNN, CBS, MSNBC, LA Times, NY Times all declare me the winner. CNN and CBS declared me the winner before I showed up, actually. I don’t think they bothered to even re-poll watchers after. Why would they?
The LA Times Is encouraging the cancellation of the next two debates. Wouldn’t that be great!?
Telemundo and the Hispanics broke 66% for Trump. But, they just don’t understand, obviously. Law and Order is what they want. My team said I was confident about Law and Order. Or maybe that was Trump. I can’t remember, but who cares?
Trump was like a petulant child. He trampled on decorum. It was like a dumpster fire. A hot mess. Only 2020 could give us this shit show. Trump had a few verbal errors and they were called “lies” by the media. I lied, and my lies were fact checked to be “misleading” or “partially false“. I have the media. It’s just all great, great, great, great, great.
There was one lone voice on my team that had something that may have seemed negative. She said, “You didn’t win, sir. Trump didn’t, either, although he put up a strong and confident fight that sounded very pro-American. The statement he made that he’s done more for America in 47 months than you have done in 47 years could resonate with voters. Wallace? He was horrible. But, I know one thing. It does feel a little like America lost.”
Wallace was horrible? What a bunch of malarkey! He was unabashedly on my side. It was like 2 on 1 as Wallace started debating Trump directly… What’s wrong with that?
Come on, man.
If failing to condemn white supremacy when asked is pro-American, then I am anti-American. If failing to commit to a peaceful transition of power after he loses this election is pro-American, then I am anti-American. And if you continue to support Donald Trump after last night, you will never be forgiven.