Tampon Tim

So Trumpy may not be brat, but I gotta admit — he is brilliant at one thing — nicknames.

Who can say Hillary without thinking “Crooked Hillary”? Same is true for Sleepy Joe, Little Marco, Hidin’ Biden, No Energy Jeb, and my personal favorite “Pencil Neck Schiff”.

There are others…. Nervous Nancy, Cryin’ Chuck, Mini Mike (Bloomberg), Shifty Schiff, Pocahontas, Crazy Bernie…. This list goes on.

These nicknames tend to stick, too. Amazingly.

I really didn’t understand this new “Tampon Tim” nickname for my running mate though. Does he look like a tampon a little? I was kinda confused until a staffer explained that Walz infamously prioritized tax payer dollars to be spent on tampons and feminine hygiene products in the public school MALE bathrooms….

…EVEN THOUGH Minnesota education testing numbers are in a rapid decline under Walz and:

• The percentage of Minnesota fourth graders not proficient in reading is about 70 percent
• The number of eighth-graders not proficient in math is also about 70%
• Nearly a third of all Minnesota students are chronically absent

And, Minnesota is in the lowest half of states in teacher salaries. They also have a higher student to teacher average than most states. I can imagine that it might seem to regular Americans that putting money into teachers and educational outcomes would make more sense than on tampons in boys bathrooms.

But, I will work my magic with Venn diagrams to explain the logic of tax dollars spent on tampons rather than teachers for most of the country. And, the media will help too, I’m sure.

I wish I could pick my own nickname. It seems like Trump is leaning towards incompetent Kamala. There are so many better ones he could use. I’ll have to think, but Kick-Ass Kamala has a nice ring to it. Better than “one her knees Kamala” certainly.

I brat.