Zach Galifianskis

I actually regret doing “Funny or Die” with Zach. I thought I was great but just read a few reviews that said the best part of the episode was the Trump video. Really just not what I was trying for. I was trying to reach out to millennials….show them I’m lighthearted and hip. My advisors say I was lackluster and seemed annoyed or bored or just old — so that sucks.

More later…

 

Obama and Israel

Crap. Obama against Israel? Doesn’t help me with the Jews. Thanks Obama. Anti-Semite much?

More Debate prep today. Is is possible to be over-prepared? I may sound like a robot after all these hours and hours and hours of prep. I mean, more like a robot than I already do.

Losing the Jewish vote, dropping down in minority voters…Still have media, big banks, foreign governments (minus Russia) and most billionaires backing me. And a stupid electorate. I will be fine.

More later.

Presidential Debate Prep

So, 90 minute debate?

I think taking 5 or more days off to prep and rest seems like a good plan. Don’t want to get “dehydrated” on the stage under the hot lights – so resting up and drinking lots of water.

And … Getting a few more focus groups to give input on where I should be on the issues so I can tell the people what they want to hear.

And …. Watching the Republican debates to see what sets The Donald off.

Important stuff. I may call into a few news shows and make a quick visit to a state nearby. That seems taxing enough for me this week.

More later…

 

 

 

Obama Immigration mistake

So, just resting and reading some reports and getting ready for debates today.

Of course, immigration going to be a big topic in the wakes of the terror attacks over the weekend and also the report that came out saying almost 1,000 people that were supposed to be deported were “accidentally” given full legal citizenship instead. Thanks Obama.

We know that people meaning to do Americans harm are coming in through refugee status and we know that they are crossing the border and coming in illegally. There are documented reports and incidents in the US and Europe to prove this fact.

Someone said to me, “if you’re throwing a party for 100 people and you find out that one of those 100 are going to try and kill as many guests as possible, would you still have that party and still invite those guests?”

I thought about it for a while. Interesting conundrum.

I think I would still hold the party, I would just not attend. Makes sense, right?

I’m definitely not having refugees settle near my house, either. Other states – no problem. Places I wouldn’t go anyway …

Back to debate prep and figuring trigger words to incite The Donald. Small hands, stuff like that. Better than trying to explain my policies, I guess. Don’t vote for him, my new slogan.

More later.

 

Dangerous Donald

It should be enough just to say, “Trump sucks.” That should be enough of a platform. 50 days to go.

I don’t need to say what I’m for. Some days I don’t even know what I am for, so would be pretty hard to talk about it.

Just need to convince everyone to be scared of Trump. It hasn’t helped me in the polls lately, but I’m sure that’s about to change. I’m great. Just ask me.

More later.

 

Bill Clinton’s 70th

Well, what’s a quarter of a million dollars between friends?

Bill’s b-day bash. If “bash” is what you would use to describe a warmed-over group of people who paid thousands to suck up to me and Bill in the hopes of parlaying favors of some kind — and then me standing there treating them like they are the big deal and not me. I’m the big deal. So, yeah, not my idea of a “bash.”

$250,000 to be a top contributor to a bday party. Now that’s rob from the rich and give to the – who am I kidding – give to the Clintons. Seems fine to me, actually.

More later.

Feeling better, maybe the “Pneumonia” is over. Although, perhaps I can pull off a remission right before debates. Or, hope for a world event (terrorist act?) that causes postponement …

 

 

 

 

 

Michelle Obama

Daily download from today’s speech included:

you looked angry and that’s unflattering

you need to stop looking crazy, when you make your eyes big when you are making a point you just look crazy

try and look more and sound more like Michelle Obama

it’s hard to get people to like you when you are annoying

and the obvious – don’t yell

 

Stupid advisors. I thought I was great.

More later.

 

Campaign “Glitch”

Caught with our hands in the cookie jar.

I guess some of our donors are getting charged multiple times when they make a one-time donation.

Perhaps we knew better than they did how much they really wanted to give…

Will have to look into how bad and widespread is. I mean it’s not that hard to believe we would steal from the people. Remember Bill explaining the Foundation by saying something along the lines of “we rob from the rich to give to the poor?” — well this is like “we rob from the poor to give to the campaign” — not a huge difference, right?

I’m sure we can blame on the hacks or just have some people take the 5th. Seems to have worked before.

More later.