My Diet

Dr. Jill is a great cook. Her best dish is Chicken Parmesan, and she makes a mean fried egg sandwich – but anything she makes, she makes with love.

She’s been trying to get me to eat healthier. I’m easy to please – will eat anything. But, all these months locked in my basement – she has made me try a lot of things.

Don’t tell the meat lobby or dairy lobby but I have really started to like these Goya Black Bean burgers. Kind of an acquired taste, but I love them. I put them on the shopping list and today was told, “sorry, Joe, they are all sold out. Weirdly, all Goya products were nearly sold out at the store.”

I thought it may be something still to do with the hoarding and the spike in positive Covid cases. But, they said it was actually because AOC has some tweet about Adobo and so a ton of people went out to buy Goya products who makes a great Adobo seasoning.

That girl is amazingly popular. One tweet and everyone rushes out to buy what she tweets about. Loved and followed by so many. I have her as an advisor, but I should really listen to her more.

I mean …. folks, she’s got something. She has more people watching her make soup live than I get to show up to my major campaign events. Not sure why. I don’t get it, wasn’t she just a bartender a few weeks ago? She doesn’t speak like she understands economics or has much common sense.

I feel like I saw her marching with a sign that said “Stop killing ducks to make duck tape.” I think they don’t kill ducks, I hope that’s not true!!? Probably not.

And she moves her arms around a lot – kinda freaks me out – like watching an octopus on an excessive amount of cocaine.

She does have more Twitter followers than me, the future President of the United States. Which is crazy. More people want to know what she is thinking and saying than me.

Also, apparently, there is some video of her dancing that has gotten more views than all my videos combined. I don’t get it, but maybe I’m just out of touch!? I gotta get my shoppers to buy more Goya products and let her know I followed her advice…. need her on my side. She’s got something. I need something.

Come on, man.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *